Hair Chronicles: My Journey to Nappily Ever After
I’m in the middle of reading Nappily Ever After by Trisha R. Thomas (our January Book of the Month) and I’m finding that there are so many relatable moments (even just within the first few chapters). I, like Venus, have often been identified by my hair for a good chunk of my life. It was everything to me. People Oooooo’d and Awwwww’d at the sight of it. I had what most people liked to call “good hair”.
Per Wikipedia, “”Good hair” is a prejudiced phrase used within varying Black communities to generally describe the perceived prestige of loosely textured hair in contrast to its opposite which is tightly-coiled, indigenously Sub-Saharan African hair (or the hair texture belonging to those of other ethnicities who are of this descent). “Good hair” is not considered tightly coiled hair, but it is used contextually to describe socially acceptable hair textures that are visibly loosely curled, wavy and/or straight. It is often used in a patronizing manner to suggest that one’s hair is “better” than Afro-textured hair.”
I’ve had really long hair for the majority of my life. And once I got to college, I decided to cut it a little shorter for a new beginning. Not too much, but enough for anyone that grew up with me to notice a difference. It was a cycle that would repeat itself for years. Cut. Grow out. Get bored. Repeat. When I got pregnant with the twins is when I chose to let it grow out again. Talk about hair growth. Those prenatal vitamins and hormones are something serious. I was well on my way to the mane of my adolescent years.
It wasn’t until about a year and half later when I was divorcing that I decided to go all Angela Basset on the world. Not the burning flames and cigarette part, but the big chop (well, big chop in my eyes). The bob was my go-to hair style for the next 3 years. And as it got shorter, it got blonder and I loved it. But with chemicals, color and daily heat applied, my hair became very damaged. It was constantly breaking and wouldn’t grow like it used to. I knew something would have to change. But it still wouldn’t for at least another year.
In March of 2016, I had our annual family photoshoot coming up and my hair needed to be permed straight so that it would be camera ready. I had just had my hair dyed the blondest it has ever been a few weeks prior for my birthday. I had been perming my hair myself for the past couple of years so I took to it again like I normally did. I applied the creamy crack and let it sit for about 30 minutes. As I went to rinse out the perm, CHUNKS of my hair at the nape of my neck began to fall out by the handful. I freaked out! I had a photoshoot the very next day and I was about to be bald. WTF! I continued rinsing out the chemicals and discovered (eventually) that only the bottom portion of my hair where it was the blondest was falling out (THANK YOU, LORD). So, with my hair styled and down, no one could tell that it was broken off. It was a miracle.
I have not permed my hair since that day and here’s why. When the broken parts started to grow back, it grew back in tight spiral curls. What the heck is this? I legit had tiny Shirley Temple curls spring from the nape of my neck. I got curious. I’ve been perming my hair since around high school and straightening it since before I could remember. With the perm, even with my hair wet and curly, it was never this curly. Only wavy. I was in awe and curious to know if my whole head was like this. I didn’t do a big Venus style chop, but I did transition my hair over the next couple of years. And like I had thought, my hair was indeed naturally curly. A combination of 3c-4a curly. And even though it took 32 years for me to discover this some years ago…I LOVE my natural hair and hardly wear it straight these days. Thanks to simonereadsbooks on Bookstagram, I’ve decided to share a few pics along my hair journey.
My hair was a huge lesson in self love. So many times we do things for acceptance and aren’t truly being our authentic selves. I love the natural hair epidemic that has been going on for years and I hope it never fades. While I’ve embraced my own hair, I’m also teaching my daughter to do the same with hers. She will never see a perm so long as I can help it. Black men and women are beautiful in their natural state and I will never stop promoting the beauty that is us.
What has your hair journey been like? What’s the most dramatic thing you’ve done to your hair over the years?
Here a few books about the black hair experience that you may enjoy:
Nappily Ever After: A Novel (Nappily Series Book 1) by Trisha R. Thomas
Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America by Ayana Byrd
Princess Hair by Sheree Miller
You Can’t Touch My Hair Deluxe: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain by Phoebe Robinson
We’re Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union
